


Sense and Sensitivity

by Gladrial



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bat Family, Canon Disabled Character, Gen, Realities of Being Disabled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-10
Updated: 2007-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-29 19:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gladrial/pseuds/Gladrial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barbara is feeling vindictive and starts placing blame on the most obvious person she can find.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sense and Sensitivity

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: RisqueSno
> 
> Spoilers: Takes place after Birds of Prey #85 where Barbara regains some limited mobility in her legs. VERY limited. And after following Birds of Prey events where Dinah (Black Canary) has semi-retired. Also after Teen Titans #43 where it is revealed that Batgirl (Cassandra) has been under Deathstroke's control.
> 
> Disclaimer: DC owns all these characters and WB owns DC and Time Warner owns WB and I'm pretty sure the rest of the world.

The alarm buzzed on her nightstand and Barbara's hand fumbled about until it managed to find the snooze button. She was at that beautiful place between wake and sleep. A place where she had not yet recalled that half her body was broken. But slowly reality returned to her and she tugged the blanket off herself and stared at her legs.

She was about to perform a ritual she had begun since the operation Dr. Mid-Nite had given her. She knew she shouldn't. She knew getting her hopes up was the worse thing she could do…but every morning the temptation was too strong.

Barbara took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and concentrated hard: Harder than anyone should have to in order to make their body respond to their brains command. Babs put everything she had into making her big toe on the right move. She'd done it before, right after the operation, and since sporadically. If she could get control of that maybe she could eventually regain her legs.

She imagined that her brain was sending signals down her spine and into her legs. Yes, she could almost feel the neurons firing down her thigh, past her knee, and into her foot. It was a tingly sensation. Barbara excitedly opened her eyes and stared at her toe. …Nothing. For an instant she almost told herself that it twitched a little, but she knew better.

Dr. Mid-Nite had warned her not to expect much from it, that her toe's sudden movement more than likely didn't mean anything. Barbara had said that she understood and was okay with it. What a silly, stupid thing to say. Of course she wasn't.

She and Dinah were so happy when it moved that first time. They had embraced and broken into tears. Barbara really wished she were here now to help through this. She had known when Dinah left that she'd miss her but thought she'd be able to lose herself in work. Unfortunately, Babs had found that she had become too accustomed to Dinah's constant presence to let go of her that easily. Dinah had become something she could be certain of in her tumultuous lifestyle…until now.

The alarm buzzed again and Barbara slammed her fist on it. Hard. It hurt her hand and she shook it in reflex as though she could shake the pain away. "Damn clock," she muttered as she slid off the bed and into her chair that was patiently waiting for her to get a clue.

"Damn chair," she said louder this time as she wheeled herself to the shower.

This morning routine had to stop. It set her mood for the next twenty-four hours. If her toe moved she was ecstatic and in a euphoric cloud all day. If it didn't, she fell into a deep depression which typically expressed itself in anger. And far more often than not, it didn't move.

As she rolled down the hall, thinking angry thoughts, she received a call and knew immediately the person on the other end was going to end up her punching bag for the rest of the miserable day. It was Bruce. Of course it was Bruce. God, she couldn't stand him but opened the comm anyway.

"Would it be too much to ask that I'm able to take a shower before you start ordering me around?" she asked irritably.

Batman paused momentarily at her attitude. They really hadn't had much to do with one another lately. The 'ordering me around' comment was certainly out of place. Barbara had become her own boss, she'd made that clear. He recovered quickly and absently thought maybe she should be reminded how she got where she is. "Meeting at the cave tonight. 8pm. I'll expect you there." He abruptly hung up.

Barbara tried calling him back to protest but her call went unanswered.

"FINE!" she yelled to the walls around her as she continued her journey to the bathroom.

She lifted herself off the chair and entered the large shower. It had bars to support her and a built in seat. Bruce had bought it for her, and it had seemed such a kind gesture at the time, but today she saw it differently. _He got this for me to keep me content. His happy little secretary_ , she thought bitterly. _Probably out of guilt too. Look what happened to me because of him._

Her rational-self knew good and well that it was the clown who put her in this condition and that Batman had saved her, but her anger countered the argument in several directions. _He's escalated that feud between the two of them as much as the Joker has: Made me a target. What the hell was he thinking having me running around with him anyway? I was a kid!_ She also knew that putting on the costume was her idea and that he had tried to discourage that ambition, but she didn't feel like being reasonable.

After dressing she rolled to her computer console and tried to fit in some work before the 'meeting'. She was having trouble concentrating though as every bad thing that had ever happened to her was somehow being twisted into Bruce's fault:

_We lost Cassandra because he isolated her so: Wanted to make her like him. Dick and I fall apart all the time because of him. He drives a wedge between us because he wants everyone to be as miserable as he is. And who the hell does he think he is, claiming he treats my dad like an equal and constantly vanishing? Who does that?_

Her anger grew and not only could she not stop it, she didn't _want_ to stop it: Anything to keep her mind off that stubborn toe. She couldn't wait for the meeting tonight, couldn't wait for him to see how pissed off she was and how much she hated him.

* * *

Barbara arrived in front of Wayne manor at ironically, and awkwardly, the same time as Dick. They traveled side by side in silence up the walkway to the front door. Barbara was fuming.

Dick was the kind of person that couldn't stand to see anyone upset, especially Babs, so he eventually broke the silence by asking her what was bothering her. "You angry with me Babs? …'Cause I totally understand if you are…"

"No!" she quickly cut him off. "It's him! He's the most insensitive, arrogant man on the planet. You know it. I know it. Tim knows it. Alfred knows it. EVERYBODY knows it and yet we continue to cater to him. Why?"

"Well, y'know, he has to have everything just so," he responded lightly with a smile in an ill-conceived attempt to calm her down.

"You mean he has to have everything _his way_ and do you know why?"

"Why?" Dick asked cautiously.

She halted her chair and fell into a whisper, knowing she was about to cross a terrible line but didn't care. "Because his parents spoiled the hell out of him and died before they figured out they were raising a brat."

Dick's mouth fell open as he exclaimed, "BARBARA!"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," she said sarcastically as her voice rose again. "I forgot he's the only one allowed to be an insensitive asshole. Pardon me!" She continued on her way to the front door.

Alfred greeted them and, as Barbara rolled in, she spoke to him as though he'd been privy to her and Dick's conversation. "Don't worry Alfred. No one blames you. Everyone thinks you're just wonderful."

"…That is very kind," was all the butler could think to say as he looked to Dick for an explanation. Dick didn't so much as shrug in confusion; his eyes were still wide with shock.

"I don't know what's gotten into you tonight, Babs," Dick said as the three of them continued on into the study. "It's true that Bruce isn't the best at expressing his feelings, but he does have them. Look at the sacrifices he's made. He _always_ puts himself last. Look what he's done for all of us. I wouldn't have a family if it weren't for Bruce and through him I have you, Alfred, Tim... He's not perfect but you're being way too harsh."

Barbara scowled. Dick always took his side. She was sure that was somehow Bruce's fault too.

The trio stopped in front of the massive clock in the study. _Another damn clock_ , thought Barbara and that was almost funny enough to make her frown disappear…almost. Alfred redirected the dials and the clock swung open to reveal a dark, narrow staircase.

Barbara stared at the obstacle in front of her with barely contained fury. Alfred quickly descended the staircase in an escape attempt from the fiery redhead. "THIS is exactly the kind of crap I'm talking about!" she demonstrated to Dick. "He's a billionaire that summons me to his mansion and can't install a freakin' elevator! How long do I have to be cripple before he figures that one out?"

She angrily jutted both arms up toward Dick and he flinched backwards as though she might be trying to strike him. That was not her intent though as her arms were clearly saying, _Well, are you going to carry me down there or do I have to crawl?_ Dick gently cradled her in his arms as they followed Alfred down.

When they entered the cave, Tim saw the position Barbara was placed in and instantly jumped up to volunteer his help. "Your chair at the top? I'll bring it down" and off he went without so much as a conformation.

"Thank you, Tim," Barbara shouted up to him. " _You_ are very considerate." Tim returned with her chair and he seemed very chipper, even for him. Dick placed her carefully back in her seat as they waited to see why they had been called here.

Batman stood up from the chair in front of his massive computer system. He was in uniform minus the cowl which hung limply on his shoulders. "Now that everyone's here, we can begin," he started.

 _Sorry to keep you waiting,_ Barbara thought childishly.

"We have been fortunate enough to be reunited with one of our own," he continued. "But I'll let Tim take it from here."

' _One of our own'? What does that mean?_ Barbara held her breath.

Tim dashed around a corner and returned with Batgirl at his side. Dick tensed, unsure of what was happening, but Babs exhaled sharply and nearly collapsed on herself. She knew there had to be an explanation, always did, and at the moment she didn't care what it was.

Cassandra's mask completely covered her face. She was impossible to read but understood the importance of physical expressions better than anyone, so she removed the cowl and gave everyone a half-hearted, sad smile.

Tim started to explain. "Slade, well…well, he…"

"For God's sake, Tim, WHO CARES! Come here, honey." Tears streamed down her cheeks as Barbara spread her arms wide and invited her in. Cassandra's smile grew until it was genuine and gladly dove into them. "It's okay now. You're home." They held each other a long time until both were positive the other wasn't going to suddenly vanish.

* * *

That night wasn't spent doing recon, sweeping the city, dodging bullets, or pounding on the computer in frustration. They simply enjoyed each others company and told old war stories they all already knew by heart. _Maybe Dick was onto something with the whole family thing,_ Babs thought happily.

The hours slipped away and it was eventually time to depart. Barbara offered her home to Cassandra and she gladly accepted. Barbara thought the womanly influence would be good for her, but she wouldn't deny that she had purely selfish reasons behind the offer as well. Cassie could fill the void Dinah had left.

As they made for the exit, Batman called out, "Barbara, I'm curious. After I hire personnel to install you an elevator, how do you suggest we dispose of the bodies?" He almost smiled at his own smugness.

Barbara smiled sheepishly. Clearly she had been overheard at the top of the stairs which wasn't too surprising. She had been rather loud and, at the time, half-hoped he could hear her.

"Well, you know, I had a bad day," Barbara said.

"…I've had bad days," he replied grimly and suddenly turned toward his computer with fixed determination.

Barbara left him and realized she hadn't really had a bad day at all. In fact, it had been rather wonderful. If she hadn't been so wrapped up in herself, she wouldn't have been so miserable.

 _Maybe,_ she admitted to herself, _Bruce isn't the only one that can be insensitive._


End file.
